Adam Walsh and a whole laundry list of things happening

The Adam Walsh background check is the hold up. Yup. That is the thing holding me up at this very moment. Once that clears we will have some type of question/answer time with our caseworker and hopefully our homestudy will be complete. HOPEFULLY. I still don’t think our caseworker likes me, she doesn’t respond to my emails but if Husband send her an email he typically gets a response. It must be because he’s so handsome and charming. I’m blunt and aloof. Naturally, she would like him better.

 

My older girls, Biscuit and Bunny, are both parts of competitive cheer squads… it is getting REALLY expensive. A couple of weeks ago it was close to $900 for competition uniforms and warm ups. Next month it is $380 for their competition fees in December. Then there will be traveling costs, hotels, food, gas, 6-9 times during the season. Oh, I didn’t mention the $185 a month for they gym for the cheer practices and tumbling class. I literally have no cash for fun stuff…no coffee with the girls, no impromptu trips to Las Vegas, no organic bread this month haha! Kids are expensive. BUT they’re worth it, being on a team sport is teaching Biscuit a lot about dependability, problem solving, and working as a group. Those are all things she needed to work on, as the oldest she always wants to be the leader, she wants to be right, and when she wasn’t she would get huffy and emotional. Bunny is the opposite; she will pretty much go with the flow of anything. She needed to be around peers and develop her own personality as she was starting to behave like Biscuit, bossy.

Boy Child is still slacking, he is a dreamer… he is lazy. He is currently signed up for karate twice a week BUT he rarely attends. What should take him 30 minutes is still taking him an hour…sometimes two! My days are very scheduled, I cannot rearrange my schedule because he chooses to slack off. This is very difficult for both him and I. He wants so desperately to go do fun things but he lacks the responsibility to get things done in a timely manner. Now, I did read something recently about ADHD: Inattentive Type.

Children with the inattentive type of ADHD display these things:

  • Shift from task to task without finishing anything
  • Become easily distracted
  • Miss important details
  • Make careless mistakes in homework and tests
  • Get bored quickly
  • Have trouble getting organized, for example losing homework assignments or keeping the bedroom messy and cluttered
  • Don’t seem to listen when spoken to
  • Daydream
  • Are slow to understand information
  • Have trouble following instructions

I am not typically one to easily jump to conclusions BUT this speaks loudly to me, all of the things listed about could easily be said about Boy Child. My son seems to only pay attention closely when I raise my voice, when I raise my voice he focuses and then understands and computes whatever it is that I’ve asked him or told him. Sometimes I feel like a monster shouting “MAKE YOUR BED, BRUSH YOUR HAIR, EAT BREAKFAST!” But it is the only way to get through to him, if I talk to him like I do any other person “Boy Child, please don’t forget to make your bed, brush your teeth, and have something to eat before 7:40am as we will be leaving to school at that time.” He would get lost and only complete one of the tasks and then feel scared when he left the house because he thinks I will be upset with him because he cannot remember what he was supposed to do. I have tried talking with him and having him repeat, verbatim, everything I had said to him and still he gets lost/confused and then he panics. He feels scared. He doesn’t want to disappoint me so he pulls it all inward and it breaks my heart. That is why I have to shout simple things at him, it helps him understand and it helps me keep him safe. “STAY IN THE DRIVEWAY!” “DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS!” “EAT YOUR SALAD!” “DID YOU FLUSH!?” “PLEASE WEAR A HELMET!” “WHAT HAPPENED IN THE KITCHEN?!” “CAN YOU WATER THE PLANTS?!”  My neighbors must things I am insane. I need to have him evaluated ASAP.

Lemon is a typical 18 month old kid. She tears stuff up, write on things she’s not supposed to, and pee’s in the potty…sometimes. Honestly, my carpet gets more action that the potty. Potty training is difficult with an active household! I believe I have met my match.

Me? I am super. Husband is super. We love each other and communicate wonderfully even during crisis and disagreements. I feel so lucky to have someone who loves me unconditionally and even during times when we just don’t know what will happen, he is still stellar. I absolutely love being supported, loved, and valued even during adversity. I love being loved even during the standard time but our relationship really shines when things get out of control. Both of us need to learn to let it go, to live one day at a time, and let God take care of the rest.

 

I smashed my finger and I didn’t even curse!

Take that super moms around the world! I smashed my finger in the sliding glass door and didn’t drop the F bomb or any other obscenities.

I feel like I don’t even now who I am anymore.

Last time I had smashed my fingers, yes apparently I do this often, I dropped the F bomb, and my kids came dashing into the kitchen to check to see if I were okay… I sent them away because I was bleeding horrifically and I knew I would snap at them with all of the questions they were asking OVER AND OVER. 

No children were home when the incident happened. No one to pat my head and tell me ‘good job’ for not being a total spastic mom.

 

Boo to that. In other news, my finger appears fine.

I don’t like waiting!

We have turned in EVERYTHING. Husband and I even went to Arizona’s Children’s Association, our licensure place, to drop off some stuff in hopes of seeing our caseworker yesterday, but no. Nada. We haven’t heard from her at all.

 

I know she is busy.

I know it takes something like 40 hours to write a Home Study.

I know she has a whole other caseload that doesn’t revolve around me.

I just wish she would communicate SOMETHING. “Hey, I am doing _______ and when I am done with this I will be doing ______. I’ll be in touch if I need something.” That would suffice.

 

In other news, school has started. That means afterschool clubs and birthday parties in addition to the extracurricular activities/ carpooling and school. Bunny and Biscuit participate in competitive cheer, that means 4 days a week I am at the gym. Boy Child has karate twice a week but that kid cannot get his three simple tasks (clean his room, take out the trash, and complete homework) done in time to go most of the time. For real, that kid is super slow, mega lazy, and it drives me nuts. C’mon! Who cannot complete those three tasks in 2 hours?! He chooses to do his homework half assed; instead of correct. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Second grade homework isn’t hard, he is distracted and bored, and hungry, and tired, and thirsty, and needs to use the bathroom, and needs to help his sister pick up Cheerios off the floor, etc. I love that kid buy he really gets under my skin sometimes.

Lemon is addicted to Mickey Mouse. This little girl is always talking about Mickey or Minnie. And potty training sucks. She has peed on my floor more times than I can count.

I am tired. I wish I could, just for one day, hide out in a dark hotel room and catch up on sleep. I wish I could blame the kids but they all sleep wonderfully, I have such a hard time trying to fall asleep and stay asleep. Last night I went to bed at midnight, later it was storming and it had woken me up around 3am and I had such a hard time going back to sleep. I feel like I feel asleep as the sun as coming up and woken up by an alarm 3 minutes later. I need some ZZZZZZ’s. No sleep + PMS = ugh.

 

 

 

GIVEAWAY!

 

 

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A fellow blogger is having a giveaway, you should pop by and enter! CLICK HERE and enter, what have you got to loose?

BULLETS. Random information.

  • Both Husband and I got our TB tests today, we get them ‘read’ on Friday.
  • Our physicals are scheduled for Monday.
  • We have officially put in our profile that we are accepting children from ages 0-10.
  • If I have to hear a song from Frozen one more time I will stab my eardrums with a Q-Tip.
  • It is monsoon season and I do not like it. I don’t like storms.
  • I have yet to complete the carpool list for cheer, I suck at being a mom today.
  • My boy child missed karate yesterday, I sucked at being a mom yesterday too.
  • I still do not have an official copy of Lemon’s birth certificate, those clowns in Kingman can blow me.
  • I did, FINALLY, paint my fingernails last night. My toes need help, please send a pedicurist ASAP.
  • Biscuit is being a pain in my butt, being in the 6th grade is tough…apparently. You’re 10 kid, it gets worse.
  • Bunny had an epic meltdown last night because I refused to help her type in her password on the PC as she was being rude to me. I sent her to her room and she proceeded to scream and yell and have this nuclear meltdown. It took everything inside of me (seriously, I was counting to ten, praying, reasoning, etc) not to got go into her room and swat the hell out of her with a flip flop or whatever was close. Luckily; we both survived the incident.
  • I am anxiously awaiting to hear from our caseworker to see whats next.

Adoption subsidies in Arizona

SAY WHAT?!

 

I have been reading about subsidies and how they work, it seems a lot of the information is black or white. How come no one wants to talk about this? Is it because no one wants appear in it for the money in the foster care or adoption system? Is it because people are too proud to admit they need help? WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?! Personally, I think this information is crucial!

 

C’MON, IF MORE PEOPLE KNEW THAT THEY COULD HELP CHILDREN OUT BY GIVING THEM A LOVING ENVIRONMENT WITH FINANCIAL HELP, MORE PEOPLE WOULD DO IT. Honestly, most people who are currently fostering aren’t doing it for the money, sure you get a stipend but you still will have a lot of out of pocket expenses. People who foster do it because they love people, they want to have a positive impact on society, they have a personal drive to help, whatever it may be. Many foster parents adopt a child who has been in their family for a extended time. Yes, the state will financially keep you afloat during the entire adoption, they pay for everything. I mean, why wouldn’t they? You want to love a child, as your own, that someone else didn’t want.

 

Okay, lets get to the stipend part. Everyone is hush-hush about it, and it’s driving me wild. I have found a few people willing to talk about it but I was informed that it was really taboo to ask about adoption stipends. Uh, why?! How are the newbies like me supposed to understand it? 

 

In Arizona we have the handy dandy adoption subsidy handbook CLICK HERE to check it out. When you’re all done reading that; lets just hit the high points, shall we?

 

Special needs isn’t what you think it means, is it? No, special needs children fall into age, race, siblings, and whether or not the child could be placed with his/her family. In addition, to avoid any confusion, legitimate special needs (emotional and behavioral, physical, etc) children get subsidized too. Amazing. What I understand is, everyone could potentially get an adoption subsidy if they were interested in adopting a foster child.

 

Word on the street is that adoption subsidies are hard to get, but if you educate yourself you can acquire it. Read. Ask questions, even if it is taboo. Ask your caseworker. Ask your fellow foster families and friends. I have been asking and asking, and asking, and most people say that if you are upfront about it during the adoption process things will generally go in your favor.

 

Don’t let financial burdens scare you from adopting a child via foster care. Again, you WILL have out of pocket expenses BUT an adoption stipend can help you with most major things. In addition, children who are adopted via foster care will have medical and dental insurance (state provided) until their 18th birthday. GET INVOLVED!

I am stretched thin!

I look around my house and see stuff strew all over the floor, a sticky spot on the kitchen floor that has been there well over a week, and a heap of laundry that needs folding. Today…I am ignoring it ALL. I have been trying very hard to keep my house up, get the kids to/from school and activities, and meet everyone’s needs but my own. I went two days without a shower…TWO DAYS! I am exhausted. Today I will do nothing constructive and I will not feel bad about it. I still have to run the kids to and from school (WHY DO WE NOT HAVE A SCHOOL BUS SYSTEM LAKE HAVASU CITY?!) and to their sports but everything else is on hold. 

 

Today is my day. I am going to paint my fingernails and shave my legs! I am going to step over that pile of laundry needing folding. I am going to eat lunch on the sofa, in my underpants, while watching OWN or Lifetime. Heck, I may even head out to the pool for some solo swimming/tanning.

 

My life needs a hair brush and a cocktail but for now, pantless lunch will do.

I did it…I think.

I think I made my deadline. Our caseworker didn’t say anything aside from “Now I have a lot of work to do.” when we had went to the office today. I am still missing Lemons birth certificate because Kingman has a crappy office and I am unable to talk with a human. I  am required to drop my ID copy, the application, and $20 cash in a drop box at the county office and hope for the best. I did it last week and the county returned my application saying my signature didn’t match my ID. Double You Tee Eff?! Uh, my signature has been the same for the last 20 years and through two marriages… UGH! I recopied my ID and resent the paperwork to the Kingman facility, hopefully it will work out with a color copy.

 

Husband and I have our physicals scheduled for next Monday and out TB tests for tomorrow. That is the last of the things we needed.

We had to send:

  • Physician’s statements for all adult household members
  • Health self-discloses for all adult household members
  • Work history for past 10 years.
  • Mine and Husbands past 10 years of address. Include dates, full address (including zip)
  • Character references, five. Including names, address, phone numbers, how you know them.
  • Court actions for Husband and I, including Name, date, city, state, nature of action and outcome.  This includes divorces and child support. 
  • Arrest records
  • Proof of all income
  • Immunization records
  • Updated registration and insurance for all vehicles.
  • Birth certificate for all members of the family
  • All social security numbers for all of our family members
  • Evacuation plan

There was more but I can’t even figure it out right now. It’s dinner time and I have to set the table. I am grateful that we are SO close…

 

 

IN OTHER NEWS, if you do not choose to vaccinate your children you will not be able to foster children under the age of 6 years old.

 

4 days, just 4 days to get all my stuff done.

Oh goody, my case worker is STILL ignoring me. She wanted to schedule a meeting tine to sign all of our papers BUT she doesn’t return my phone calls nor my emails. Both husband and I are available today, I called her and left her message before 8am. I’ve still not heard from her. In addition; I supplemented that voicemail, around 11a.m., with an email requesting a meeting today at 2:15. Still nothing. This is SO easy. Thank you for being supportive and helpful during this time. NOT.

 

My biggest hang up is Lemon’s birth certificate. I applied for it and now I just have to wait to get in within the next 4 days. We also need to get physicals but honestly, seeing as my caseworker cannot give me the time of day (with the exception of demands to be met within a 10 day period) it makes things difficult. You know what, I bet my deadline INCLUDES weekends…because why not? What could possibly make things harder for us? That. So I bet I have less than 2 days to complete the paperwork.

 

I am bitchy.

My house is QUIET

The kids have returned to school. It is currently nap time and my house is eerily quiet. This is nice. REALLY nice. And, because I’m freaking awesome I actually made a constructive choice…clean. Yup. I did some chores about 45 minutes ago and it is STILL clean. STILL! WEEEHAW!~