10 things NEVER to say to a foster parent

1. What did their parents do to lose their children? First, I hope you didn’t ask while the child was beside me or within ear shot, I may shank you. Don’t be inconsiderate; mind your business. Focus on being supportive and say nice things. Asking questions like this is tasteless and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

2. Don’t you have enough children? Did you REALLY just say that? If you did, your foot should be so far in your mouth that its pretty close to coming out your ass. You don’t get to decide how many children is appropriate for me… that’s up to me, Husband, and God.

3. I could never foster! I would get too attached! Are you insuinating that I am heartless and I will not get attached? Think again. I will get attached, I will love the child, I will have mixed emotions when the child returns to his/her family. I’m teaching my family how important it is to care for others, no matter the circumstances. I am teaching my children to serve our community’s children, what are YOU doing?

4. You must get paid a lot to foster. I’m so glad you’re interested in my finances! Let’s talk about your crippling credit card debt or maybe the fact that you claimed bankruptcy last fall. No. I do not get paid a lot, I DON’T GET PAID! Yes, the state issues a monthly stipend but that will, likely, not cover all of the children’s expenses. If you’re interested in how much I get monthly, there is a freaking page dedicated to reimbursement rates on my blog. If you’re interested we can talk about my personal healthcare issues while we’re at it.

5. I am far too busy to keep other people’s children. You got me! I woke up one day and said, “I don’t have enough to do. I think I will foster some vulnerable children.” In my opinion, there is ALWAYS time to help someone in need, we all tithe differently.

6. Are you going to adopt this child? If I want to offer information about the logistics of my family and my foster children, I will. If you are a pompous jerk who asks questions that are evasive I will be treating you as a voodoo doll in my mind. I want the child to go home to their parents more than anything in the world but sometimes things don’t work out. I honestly don’t have an answer to this question because I don’t know. Husband and I would love to adopt but first and foremost we need to make sure these families are getting the help they need, getting educated, and getting their family reunified.

7. How can you love other peoples children? Do you love yours more? If you ask this, RUN. Just run away from me because I am pretty sure I will clobber you. Are you trying to guilt me? Are you insinuating that I’m taking away from my family to give to these children? You simply cannot measure love, you multiply it if anything. Some children have never been shown love and I plan on loving every child who comes through my door whether it be a foster child, a friend, a neighbor, etc.

8. Don’t they have a lot of baggage? Don’t we all have some sort of baggage? The bible repetitively says how we’re supposed to help orphans, let me. Since we are talking about baggage, let’s bring up something painful to you and we can reevaluate or friendship based on the said baggage. Not fair, is it?

9. People know they’re not your children, they’re all different races! They are my kids, they’re not pretend kids and they’re not they’re not guests, I am their parent. We live in 2015, why is race so important? Stop being a bigot.

10. Why are they acting that way? Foster kids are processing a significant trauma, sometimes they act out, sometimes they do weird stuff, who cares? My bio kids act out, they do weird stuff and guess what?! I still love them. Sometimes when you come from a totally unstable environment it takes a while to fit into the ‘norm.’ Help me, give praise to the tiniest achievements. If you see me smiling and clapping over something, join in and make a fuss. I can use all the help I can get!

2 Corinthians 9:6-8

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

The big weekend

The girls and I played hookey on Friday and left for Anaheim, California.We spent some time with family, some time at the beach, some time in our rocking suite, and most of our time at the Anaheim Convention Center. There were more than 600 teams competing and some teams from other countries! It was exciting! Biscuit and her team placed first in their division, YES, first! I am always proud of her, always, but this was their first win of the season and it was a HUGE victory. Bunny’s team placed fifth, which is out of the norm for her team as they have mostly placed first in their division; there were a lot of tears on Sunday night. The girls and their teams have consistently shown outstanding sportsmanship and superior talent. I am one proud mama! GO SONICS! (Biscuit said they might have a bid, but I am not sure if they do or not. I have to wait until I get confirmation from the gym to see if the Biscuit will be going to Summit in Florida–again, I am NOT sure)

Last Wednesday we had gotten a call about a foster baby, not really a baby but all kids are babies to me- deal with it, we agreed to take the child. In the end the child was moved out of area due to to serious conflicts locally. As it stands now, we have had three calls and zero placements. God does his work on his watch; not mine. I’m rolling with the punches and going with the flow. Bring it God, I have plenty of time, I have lots of faith, and a heart that has room to grow.

Guess who is being promoted to Director to the DDD Division?! THIS GIRL. I’ve been subcontracted with the company I have been working with for 8 months or so now, I really love it! I have a steady group of clients and I make my own schedule.Then, this promotion comes up and KABLAMO all of a sudden things are getting wild. I’m tentatively working on plans for a day program in Mohave County, specifically Lake Havasu City because there is only one center here in town for children that are developmentally disabled. I have heard both good and bad things about the center and do not have a personal opinion regarding the place. I have no idea whats going to come but I know the next few months are going to be amazing!

In 17 days my family, the whole freaking mob of us, will be going to San Diego. Biscuit and Bunny have their last cheer competition of the season and we’re going to have a mini vacation. I booked a rockin’ suite several weeks ago and I have several Groupons for food and activities after the cheer stuff is done. Boychild is especially excited because he asked that we all go to the pier for his birthday (it was in February) and ride some rides and get ice cream. I love to see him smile, I love him.

As far as Husband and I, we are both doing well. We are grotesquely in love and act like smitten teenagers 24/7. I am proud to model to my children what a healthy, loving, relationship is. I absolutely adore my family, today, tomorrow, and always.

FINALLY.

We are officially licensed as of yesterday, yesterday we had two calls about placements. QUICK! After all of the stuff we had been through during the last year in this journey-I feel relieved.

Lucky for you, I’ll be blogging again. I had to put blogging on a stand still because I just had nothing positive to say about my previous case worker, the other licensing establishment, and the current process. Now that most of that is behind me; I feel I can be positive. We were assigned a great case worker (still with AZCA, oddly enough) who fixed the mess that was left behind for her, I am very grateful for her and I trust her. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted and I feel excited, anxious, and happy.

Friday the girls and I are going to Anaheim for a 2 day cheer competition. This is a big one, I hear it will have over 700 teams! That is a lot of glitter, bows, and enthusiasm. I wasn’t planning on bringing Lemon with me but things have since come up and she will be joining us on our journey. The boy child, will not, does not, cannot come…unless his dad comes then he said ‘fine.’ In a few weeks we will all be traveling (husband and boy child too!) to San Diego for the last cheer competition of the season, it’s another big one.

Boy child had a nasty wreck on his dirt bike about 5 weeks ago, he crashed in soft sand in a wash while had been camping. Apparently when he had crashed, he was flung off, the dirt bike rolled down the hill and smashed him. The kid had two black eyes! He had his protective pants and jersey on, a helmet on, goggles on, a chest protector on… but he still managed to get up, kick it, and get going again. He is such a trouper.

THE END….for now!