All the small things

Bells is super sweet, she tells me she loves me (omg, I love her too) and she draws these beautiful pictures for me. That makes my day, really it does.

Bio dad and I had a civil conversation, yesterday, that’s rare but very much appreciated.

Boychild smothers me with love, kind words, and affection. Sometimes it drives me nuts when he is mega clingy but he sure does show me that his love is fierce.

Bunny is a jokester, she constantly tries to scare me (and has succeeded a few times) and the howl of laughter that ensues is glorious; worth more than gold.

Husband, I love to talk to him. He speaks so eloquently and precise…it’s intoxicating. He is smart and has good ideas…he keeps mentally simulated. 

Lemon, oooh that girl. She is full of Lemonisims and I love it. When your two the world is such an amazing place and when I see her eyes light up, wow, it’s wonderful.

Shy is ridiculously helpful, he is thoughtful too. He’s all about the small things like helping Lemon buckle in her car seat or asking me if I need help with anything.

Biscuit is difficult right now. This tween drama is hard but she is still shining bright in my eyes. This kid is generous and will give, give, give, and give until she’s got nothing left to give. That’s beautiful and admirable.

Praise to the pest control service and the pool service, you guys make my life easier.

A shout out to my social workers, case managers, agencies, courts, and anyone else helping out foster kids and being a positive advocate for at risk youth.

A special thank you to the Big Guy in the Sky; you’re working miracles. Thanks for that.

Last but not least, I’m freaking great. I’m thankful that I’ve got thick skin, a great sense of humor, and a bad ass support group. I feel like I’ve got some serious armor that will protect and guide me in whatever fiasco I’m in. And I am ALWAYS in a fiasco of some type… I am blessed to have the great friends that are true and genuine.

Contacts!

Biscuit went for her exam on Wednesday and she is a good candidate for contact lenses. That’s exciting, unfortunately on Wednesday she got quite worked up because she couldn’t get them out during the contacts lesson, she cried and rubbed her eyes a lot and we were sent home because he eyes we’re irritated. We were asked to return Thursday to try again. Thursday morning she popped them in and out like a champ and wore her lenses to cheer choreography. This morning she popped them in like a pro and went to day two of choreography. I’m proud of her! I also ordered her a new pair of glasses…even though her insurance didn’t cover it. This kid breaks glasses at a ridiculous rate, she had her last pair of glasses for a whopping 2 months. Biscuit is feeling really proud of herself about her contact lenses and her ability to place them and remove them.

I’ve never been so excited for it to be Friday as I am today. I’m completely burnt out. Bells and Shy skipped summer camp today and none of the other kids have activities expect Bunny, she has tumbling. It’s busy around here. I’m trying to squeeze in some work related phone calls but it’s quite difficult with 6 children constantly hovering. I didn’t want to work today anyway…yay, it’s the freaking weekend. Maybe if I just lounge around today tomorrow I will be inclined to do some school shopping.

Things on the home front are back to normal, kids are back on schedule and behaving appropriately. Biscuit is still off a bit, she is really sensitive lately. This kid cries everyone she is frustrated and cries when she doesn’t get her way. The most concerning; she has conflicting feelings about hurting people’s feelings that’s she’s told me that she’d rather lie to them. For example: a friend called her the other day and she looked at her phone and groaned ‘uhhh, I do NOT want to talk to her.’ She didn’t answer her phone, no biggie. My phone rings a short time later and a girl asks for Biscuit. I call out to her and remind her to have her friends call her at her number. She asks who it is, I tell her I didn’t ask. It turns out it’s the same girl who she ignored and she shakes her head at me and shoots me a glare. Then, she let’s put this high pitched I’m so happy to talk to you ‘Hiiiii!’ and she has this peppy conversation with the girl. She then asked me is they could hang out while violently shaking her head and mouthing the words ‘no.’ I tell her not tonight. She hangs up and I ask her why she did that, why not tell her the truth and let her know how you feel. Biscuit goes on a tangent about not wanting to hurt her feelings and avoid bad feelings. This isn’t the first time I’ve witnessed this and it doesn’t always involved her friends. What happened to my confident and previously confrontational daughter? I guess I ought to be pleased thst she’s typically honest with me, she never has a filter and sometimes surprises me with her input.

Bunny is stoked about kindergarten, she is ready to buy folders and pencils. Boychild is ready to go back to school too, he likes learning new things and reporting back to me. Biscuit is pumped about school, junior high is a big step. Bells is going to need some help in the school area, she is behind a bit and I’d like to get her into speech therapy and tutoring. Shy, I’m pretty sure he is substantially behind, maybe even a grade level behind. Once school starts I’ll see if I can get him evaluated and see what types of services he needs. I could be wrong about them both, they were both in school for two weeks before it was summer break. I guess I will just have to wait and see! Lemon will start attending a preschool 2 or 3 days a week starting in August, I feel like this school year is going to be a great one. There are so many changes!

I recently had a visit with our licensing agent, she is a complete joy. I love that she answers my questions and if she hasn’t got a clue…she is honest about it. I asked her about adoption during the visit and how to go about that while still providing foster care services. She explained it quite simply and now we’re on a list as prospective adoptive parents. It’s a slow process and I’m very much okay with it…I’m just now able to handle a household of 8-10 effictively. The kids always have friend’s over, the more the merrier, right?!

We should be getting emails soon of avaliable children,  it’s not that we are being forced to pick or anything of that nature it’s basically so we can see avaliable children and decide what our criteria will be. You know, no extreme behaviors, no medically fragile, yes to physical disabilities, yes to sibsets, etc. Our licensing worker wants us to see what’s out there, to look over profiles, to decided what we are capable of, and probably redefine our yes/no list. The examples listed above seem simple but it’s not often the case. Just because a child once exhibited extreme behavioural issues doesn’t mean they’ll be that way forever… imagine be taken from your family, who you thought were normal people and treated you okay, to be placed in a completely different environment. Wouldnt you flip out? Kids get labeled in the system and I think it’s our responsibility to reevaluate situations and children, people change and people recover from trauma. I often think about what labels I would have attached to a case file if I had one, I bet no one would want to adopt me if my life were documented like some of the foster kids.

Bring on the weekend!

Drama llama!

It’s officially outburst city from our girls, Bunny is doing this fake cry thing to get her way, Lemon is fighting everyone for the sake of fighting, and Biscuit is hot one minute and cold the next. Luckily, Bells is awesome and the boys are pretty solid. On the upside the girls are happy to be back at the gym, although Biscuit had been a complete brat to me yesterday at the gym, she wanted to stay and practice with the 4.2 team and wanted me to ask the coach. Uh, no. I told her if she wanted to stay she needed to ask and let me know what time to pick her up. She pretty much had a tantrum and was a jerk to both me and her coach. Teens are awesome.

Boychild missed swim yesterday, he was caught up in doing Boychild things. He can be very absent minded sometimes. He has been such a great helper today while I’ve been cleaning out the playroom. Good news, we have decided that we are taking the kids camping since Boychild decided not to go to camp. Secretly, I’m a little bit happy that he didn’t go…I missed him past week and having him gone all week would have been a bit sad. Obviously, I would have sucked up if he decided to go.

It’s that time again, cheer uniforms are being ordered. They’re new this season and they’re really fancy…so is the price tag. Let’s not forget the new warm ups, because the girls just cannot live without them. The good news is that this will be the last of the wearable stuff that needs to be paid for. Well, with the exception of the hair bows. I’m pretty excited about that milestone. The next milestone is paying all the competition fees. Cheer life, I’m livin’ it.

Boychilds dirt bike needs work, after his latest wipe out I think he goofed some stuff up. That’s up Husbands alley…I don’t know anything about that. I just know it needs some work done and it needs to be done before our camping trip in a few weeks.

It’s been brought to my attention that I bash bio dad and that I am a scorned ex wife. I’m addition; I was accused of bashing my foster kids bio parents. Yup. You got me. You win. I’m the terrible person you think I am. You know everything about me. Have a nice day. P.S. Don’t read my blog if you don’t like what I’m saying.

I figured this would happen…

My little humans are home! I’m so excited to see them and they’re excited to see me. Reunited, yeah. They’ve been home just about 2 hours and they’ve already told me a few weird things. The first one is from Biscuit; she asked bio dad to get her contact lenses and he said no because he already spent money on her. WTF? Welcome to parenthood, you don’t just get to be the cool dad who takes the kids places and buys them cool things. This pissed me off, I know I shouldn’t bash anyone but it’s preposterous. Bio dad is supposed to pay for health/dental insurance– he does not. Husband and I take care of it because our kids are in high risk sports, cheer and motocross…someone is going to get hurt. It’s cool, Biscuit is onto him. She knows that he is a ‘douch’ (her words not mine) and she has asked me why I let him get away with it. I tell her the truth; it’s not worth it. I remind her that I will always take care of her and make sure she has what she needs and choose not to talk about bio dad because of the age old saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say do not say anything at all.” I also reminded her not to use mean names no matter how hard it is to come up with something more appropriate or creative.

Thing two, Boychild doesn’t want to go to MX camp tomorrow because he said he was gone all week and missed me. He said he doesn’t want to go be without me for another week. While I am flattered; I saw this one coming. I told him we could all go camping in Flagstaff or the Grand Canyon and take his dirt bike so he can experience new terrain and spend lots of time out on his dirt bike.

Thing 3, I am overjoyed that bio dad has a wonderful wife, we will call her V. The kids don’t often, okay fine…never, talk about bio dad or wanting to see him. They do talk about V and how great she is, I feel better about sending the kids to see bio dad because of V. Both Boychild and Bunny have mentioned that they would be scared if bio dad and V had a full time kid because the kids don’t think bio dad would know what to do. I just laughed because they’re half right, LOL.

I’m glad the kids had fun, but it’s back to real life. You know, following the rules, chores, earning privileges, and typical  activities.

Let’s kick in some positive things:
1. The kids had fun.
2. The kids got to spend time with extended family (even if some of them are immature, hypocritical, and ridiculous.)
3. The kids were happy to come home.
4. Hugs, not drugs.

What’s your hobby?

People say I’ve got a creepy hobby, I restore American Girl dolls. I suppose it’s only creepy because when you see them headless, without hair and/without eyes, it can look a little spooky. I can make them clothes, I can rewig them, I can tighten loose limbs or replace them, I can repaint make up, and replace eyes. It’s actually pretty easy and I enjoy it for two reasons 1.) I am not paying $50 to send my girls dolls to the American Girl Doll Hospital that’s half the price of a brand new doll! 2.) I love seeing my girls happy. They like to help and when they see the doll that they love look ‘new’ again they shine bright like sunshine.

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This one got her hair replaced this afternoon. Seriously, it’s amazing what new hair can do for a doll. It’s cheap and easy, and it looks as good as new. Yes, this doll still has a water stain on it’s torso and a ink pen mark on its eyebrow…but that’s whst makes this doll special. That’s how my girls tell their dolls apart. I could easily remove it but that could be dangerous…

One day, when I’ve got some extra time (once school starts and I stop working so much) I’ll do a tutorial so YOU can fix up your kids doll. It doesn’t have to be an American Girl doll, I suppose most dolls are the same. I know all sorts of tricks to get ink and permanent market off quickly, I’ve got Intel on the best glues to use when rewigging or using wefts of real human hair, and tons of tips to make revamping your doll effortless.

I’ve been experiencing lots of traffic on my blog lately, so hiiii! Just about a thousand people popped in this week to see what is going on with my family. You can email asking questions or letting me know what you’d like to see and I’ll happily oblige.

Lost

Imagine going to bed your typical self, in your normal sleeping attire, with your pillow, and your comforter. Sounds great doesn’t it? Now, imagine waking up and seemingly everything is the same. The same clothes, the same pillow, the same attire. Awesome! Alright, imagine leaping out of bed to start your day and realizing you only have one leg. You fall flat on your face, confused, lost, trying to figure out what to do…because holy crap your leg had disappeared overnight. Panic. Eventually you get up, and you try to function all day with your limb missing, and you figure out ways to make it work.

That’s how I feel. My kids went to visit their bio dad and I feel like a part of me is missing… three actually. I make too much dinner, I pull out too many snacks, I look and listen for them constantly, I’m pulling out stuff for their activities/sports, and I miss them. My heart aches because I cannot hold them or tickle them. My kids are my everything and it’s difficult (even if it is explained dramatically) to function without them. I have SO much free time that it is alarming and I constantly feel like I’m forgetting something. My life feels less full without them. Funny story, I generally take the same route most days, I ended up in the gym parking lot feeling frustrated that Biscuit hadn’t come outside and I figured she was chatting with her friends. I waited 10 minutes before I realized that I wasn’t waiting on anyone. Haha!

Lemon is enjoying the extra time she has with me. It’s been her and I a lot as Bells and Shy go to summer camp. Even with three kids home it’s still eerily quiet. No one is fighting, no one is being a tattle tale, no one is fussing about ‘he said, she said’ stuff. One perk? I’ve been able to read my book, it’s the love language book for kids, uninterrupted. Also, I’ve had time to fix up some American Girl dolls for the girls. See, I can be positive. 🙂

Speaking of Bells and Shy, I’ve recently been communicating with their family members and I’ve even met some family members of theirs. They are both excited about school starting and they’ve both decided on activities to do once school has started. I’m really proud of them both and they’ve really opened up. It’s looking like they’ll be here for a while, I should start getting my Christmas stockpiling started.

I miss Boychild, Bunny, and Biscuit. It’s just a few more days! I can’t wait to snuggle my babies! I know, I know, stop whining. Soon, I’ll be whole again.

Update, update, read all about it!

Things are hectic as usual, I don’t mind. It’s something you get used to, really it is. Biscuit and Boychild both had doctors appointments scheduled for next Monday but they’ll be out of town all next week. I haven’t had a chance to get Boychild prescriptions filled either, if I can’t get it done tomorrow I suppose the kids bio dad will have to take care of it. Boychild needs dental work done soon. Biscuit has a sports related injury, she hurt her ankle, and she needs a vaccination to enter junior high, meningitis I believe. Bunny is legit, Lemon is legit, Shy is legit, but Bells isn’t. She needs some dental work done…unfortunately she will need to be sedated and I simply cannot fit that type of thing into the schedule until the end of this month or beginning of next month. And to make it even harder I van only schedule on Mondays as I cannot fathom taking 5 kids to sit in a dental office for 5 hours while one kid is getting work done.

Biscuit did not make the 4.2 cheer team she had been psyched about, although she is an alternate she still feels like she can push her way into the team. That kid is hard headed, even after her coach told her point blank that she’s an ‘almost kid’ and won’t be on that team unless someone drops…she is still persistent. I don’t care which team(s) she is on, I want her happy. I want her to be the best she can be and I’ll always respect her for not taking no as an answer. Wait. That sounded sorta rapey.  You get what what I mean, right? I like that she is a fighter, her own advocate, and she is trying to get what she wants.

Boychild wants to do camp but he wants to go camping with his family. He can’t figure out what he wants. He is indecisive. I can relate to him all to well. He is having his birthday party in a couple of weeks and so is Biscuit.  They are both February kids but they like summer activities so this year they both decided to wait until summer to have a party.

Now I end this with a picture!

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