A whole mess of things.

How is it that I have 5 young children, who all get the same brand of clothing, and two of them are physically hard on things that they last only a couple of months? I’ve got a couple theories but first let me give you a couple of examples. Example 1: I bought brand name shoes for all the kids, brands that I know/trust and have had exceptional results with personally, Guess-Keds-Uggs, etc. School has been in session nearly a quarter and two of my kids have destroyed their shoes. Example 2: I bought backpacks, canvas backpacks of various brands and had their names put on them. Once child has completely destroyed their name on their backpack. Example 3: I bought an American girl doll for a child at Christmas and it’s since been beheaded and the hair ripped off. 

That third one still has me on fire, for real. BUT, I have come to understand that some kids never understand the value of things. Some kids never had anything new, some kids simply just don’t give a shit and think you owe them something. I’m sure that you’ve guessed by now the culprits are foster placement’s. 

I don’t understand, all of my kids go to the same places and they typically participate in the same activities. They attend the same school and have the same group of friends. I buy them all the same brands of clothing, the same coats/shoes, and the same school supplies. But I’m pretty sure only one kid in my house goes out of her way to destroy things, it’s Bells. Bells told me that if she screws her stuff up I have to buy her new stuff because she’s a foster kid. Newsflash kid, nope! I don’t know where she’s got the idea that she’s this kid who deserves this or that because she’s a foster child, in fact this hadn’t been the first time she’s used to foster kid guilt on me. In my house you aren’t a victim; you’re part of a family and special treatment isn’t an option. She once told a few of the bio kids in our house that they were no longer allowed to play games with her and her therapist who visits once a week because she is a foster kid and it’s for her only. I started loading up the car weekly to go on ice cream trips and told her ‘I’m sorry, you’ve got therapy and you’ve asked that the kids not join you anymore; we now get ice cream on Tuesdays while you have therapy.’ Oh boy, that made her upset…for several weeks she complained to the therapist about not getting ice cream and the therapist explained that she made a fuss about it and brought it on herself. Later, she mentioned that ‘foster kids should get more that regular kids.’ Ugh, can we not go through this again?! In any case, guess who was unhappy about their Faded Glory jeans? After wearing only Justice jeans…I hope this works. 

Shy is a culprit too but I believe a lot of his stuff is innocently destroyed, he climbs trees and rides bikes. Of course his stuff will get rugged while playing hard outdoors; I get it. But he wants to hang onto it and not toss it in the trash where it should have gone. Shy understands brand recognition as he’s older and his friends talk about it. He values the higher end items I’ve bought him and he truly takes care of the ‘important’ stuff. He is much harder on all of his things but it’s a mixture of just being a boy and carelessness. Funny thing, Boychild usually accompanies Shy in most things and Boychild hasn’t had a ton of destroyed things. Kids, what can you do?!
I never have any problems with Minnie, she’s older and understands the value of things. I like to buy her treats, new clothes or bathing suits because she truly values both the thought that went into the purchase and the items in general. She’s such a great kid, I’ll definitely miss her when she moves home with her parents. 

Biscuit has requested to join both Renaissance Club and Interact Club. She’s really into getting into the National Junior Honor Society this year, she’s putting in volunteer hours at the gym, she’s joining clubs, and she’s keeping that high GPA.

Boychild is a Webelos Cub Scout! I volunteered to be a scout leader or assistant leader, I think we’re going to have a lot of fun. He was supposed to go camping at the beginning of October but we are working on being responsible and listening (aren’t we always with him?!) and get failed to get the information he needed so he cannot go. Eventually he will be sick of missing out on stuff he wants to do and will start focusing. 

Bunny is missing SO many teeth. She’s also going to need quite a bit of dental work as she gets older. Bunny has had a crossbite for as long as I can remember, her adult teeth are growing in a jagged as her baby teeth. Bunny has passed all this school years benchmarks, for example the say her reading should be at a 15 now and a 53 at the end of the year…she is at 64. All across the board, she’s got it! 

Lemon is enjoying preschool. She officially knows 28 sight words and is working on writing her names. She recently kicked ass at the gym, she can do a standing bridge kickover. Other than that…she’s three and doing three year old things. Listening is not her strongest attribute. 

Let’s recap; cheer, tumbling, gymnastics, AWANA, Homework Club, tutoring, Good News Club, Renaissance Club, Interact Club, youth group, and Cub Scouts. Ah, to be the mother of seven kids. 

Husband and I have date nights, well adult nights. We meet up with friends at various places and engage in child free conversations. It’s beautiful. Husband and I are going on a little get away soon, viva Chicago! And when we return a family trip is planned; we’re going to the beach and Knotts Berry Farm. After these trips it’s going to be lots of cheer traveling, I’m excited. 

One of these pretty ladies is our puppy, Murphy!

I gave Lemon $5 to buy anything she wanted at Goodwill, she bought a chair. This is not a joke. 

Biscuit bombs my instagram with stuff like this. 

I’m going to attempt to add a few videos to share with you!

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2 thoughts on “A whole mess of things.

  1. AdoptiveBlackMom says:

    Funny, my daughter has never done the foster care guilt thing, but certainly she struggles to understand the value of things and how to take care of her things. She has said often that she would get things and then when she moved they would get broken or just be gone. She also hates getting rid of the things she’s managed to salvage and things that she’s outgrown or has damaged. She’s gotten better with time, but it is definitely a long term challenge.

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